Cash for Clunkers

So, I’m in the market for a new ride… even more so since my existing ride, the family’s only ride, came up lame on a trip yesterday, with my wife at the healm… This is causing a considerable amount of stress, as any event that requires a husband and wife to sit and discuss preferences, priorities, and budget… (hint: throw pillows will ALWAYS be a high enough priority to ignore any budgetary constraints preventing thier purchase.)

 So… I’ve been looking for cars…,, (not at work because no one wants the seedy dealings that go on there to come back to an office computer – oh yeah and also because I’m an honest, hard working individual who is loath to conduct personal business in the office.) I looked in the paper, researched in consumer reports,, and the manufacturers websites… I even visited dealers… ok, I visited 1 dealer, did I mention we only had 1 car?

 There’s a buzz in the auto industry! CASH FOR CLUNKERS!!!! The new government incentive that gets you a whopping 4500 for your vehicle.* (*certain terms and conditions apply)… Awesome! the government is now in the slightly ambiguous, narrowly applying, here’s the best case scenario Auto incentive game…. Seriously, this is a great deal if you have a car that is about to die, and happens to be a real gas guzzler, AND you are looking to purchase a subcompact… if any one of thos isn’t true, then it starts to become less of an incentive… Which is fine… the intent was to get the high emmissions vehicles off the road. So, as big a fan as you are of Who’s the Boss, maybe its time to turn in you’re sweet van with grandma’s old couch bolted down in the back and the trail of smoke billowing from the tailpipe (amongst other places). You’re never going to get another offer for 4500 for that thing (even if you throw a spoiler on it and paint it just like the A-TEAM’s van.)

 But for the rest of us, its rather alarming that our government is complicit in what amounts to an advertising campaign… perhaps its not the classic bait-n-switch… but it sure is analogous to the standard MO of auto advertising. As in: BMW 325i convertable for only $199 /mo. * (*for qualified buyers)… come to find out, that you can only qualify if you are so rich that you wouldn’t be caught dead in a cheap ass BMW… your strictly a Bently man, and if they don’t have what you want right now, you’ll just start your own damn car company. Oh yeah, and even if you are qualified you still have to put $6k down plus tax, title, and fees. Oh yeah, and also only if the dealer you go to is a participant in this offering.

 So, its a good deal if you can get it, which you can’t, but please don’t leave, we have many exciting offers just for you….

 So, I’m looking for a car… and I’m sorry, but I have some pretty high demands…. has to go from Point A to B with my whole family (with room for 1 more) and the stuff we need whenever we get where we’re going… I’m not too worried about gas mileage, though I prefer not to be a huge contributor of pollutants to the environment, or cash to oil companies…. I care about style, but want to be able to tell people I don’t… comfort is key… and I want to be able to see pretty well while driving (so I don’t run people over or smash into things… read this closely Jeep Cherokee designers you current offering stinks in this category.) If I could get some fun bells and whistles, cool… I like the nav system with back up camera and entertainment systems, but I can live without em too. But here’s the deal… I don’t want to lay out more than $200 a month… I’d be willing to part with a couple of grand down… and I want everything about the car covered under warranty (I’ll change the oil)….  I guess I’m perusing the fine print again.


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